I remember when a dear friend of mine had her first baby 5 years ago, my Mom making a comment. Something like: "Wow, she got the hang of breast feeding really quickly. She didn't seem to have any problems at all." It struck me as strange at the time. This was only 5 years ago (making me a naive 24, I suppose). I had just always assumed that breastfeeding was what Mom's did. That it was just ingrained in us as women and there where no obstacles involved. It was then that I started paying attention to my other friends that were becoming Mothers. I heard their struggles and their triumphs in regards to their adventures in breastfeeding and realized it was something a lot of Mom's really have to fight for and try to work at (at least for those first grueling weeks). And even then, sometimes it's just way more trouble than it's actually worth for some.
Leading up to the birth of Hayden I desperately wanted to breastfeed. I was also incredibly worried that I wouldn't be able to. I remember our first attempts shortly after her birth. It felt SO awkward! It felt far from "natural." At least for me. At least at first. We took her home and kept at it. Every 2-3 hours. Her latch wasn't perfect. Her little mouth was so teeny and my nipples were ridiculously large! That bad latch resulted in much pain and some bleeding. OUCH!! The light water pressure from the shower was even enough to nearly bring me to tears. And I definitely had moments of weakness. I remember sitting on the edge of the couch at 3am, boobs out, crying to Chris about how tired I was and how much it hurt. Thinking "no wonder women just GIVE UP!" He listened to my whining and blubbering, then reminded me of why I was doing it. Reminded me of ALL the reasons I wanted so desperately to do it in the first place. For HER. Reminded me that it would get better in a couple of weeks. Told me to hang in there, that he loved me, and that I COULD do it. And I did. WE did it. I was gonna stop breastfeeding after I returned to work when Hayden was 4 & 1/2 months. I am proud to say we've lasted 11 months, work and all! And after those first few weeks, I really enjoyed the closeness and the bond that breastfeeding enabled my Daughter and myself to have.
That being said, I'm pretty sure we've got just got a week or so left to go. I'm pumping very little milk at work. My milk supply is dwindling and Hayden is eating solid foods and drinking out of a sippy cup like a champion. I am so proud of her independence, but ending this chapter in our lives is definitely bittersweet. I think a little piece of me is actually gonna be pretty sad once it's all said and done.
Things I will NOT miss about breastfeeding:
1. Having lopsided breasts
2. Toting a pump to and from work or cleaning it's parts constantly
3. Pumping at work (it's can be a bit awkward at times)
4. The milk let-down
5. Wearing breast pads
6. Nursing bras (so not sexy!)
7. Hayden's likes to bite. Enough said.
Things I WILL miss about breastfeeding:
1. The extra calorie intake I was allowed
2. Those moments when she looks up at me, touches my face and smiles that sweet baby Hayden smile
3. Looking like I had breast implants when they where "full"
4. The fact that feeding her was pretty much free.
5. The super quick soothing forces of "the boob"
6. Knowing all the good stuff she's getting from breast milk
7. That 6:30am feeding that allows me at least 1 more hour of sleep.
Moms, what do you miss (or what do you think you will miss) about breastfeeding? Did you wish you could breastfeed again after weaning?
